Who's got two thumbs and knows the rules...?

Saturday Potpourri

I'm sure you have all met "That guy". You know the one I'm talking about. The Rules lawyer, Aka: the know it all, aka: the asshat. And I'm also sure (s)he is reviled throughout the gaming community. Whether it's the guy that stands on the sidelines of your game and constantly interrupts your dice rolls to tell you how you're not allowed that saving throw, or the girl who, having been listening in on your game, reminds you that YES your opponent can use that card combo because 2 turns back your dispel card was, itself, dispelled.
We all hate that person don't we....
But why?
If you think about it, they are, as they see it, just helping out. They saw an error and were just pointing it out. Maybe you forgot that that Rhino was a fast vehicle in your opponents army (Blood angels yay!), and you were starting a rules challenge with your opponent. Really, if you think about it, most of the time, you only (truly) mind the interruption when they point out something that helps your opponent. When it's in your favor, you'll often stand back and let them duke it out on your behalf. Let them be the proxy asshat, if you will.
Now of course not everyone wants any kind of sideline help, for them or their opponent (I happen to be of the opinion that if you're watching, watch, don't participate... Or suffer the consequences**), and the interruption is not only unwelcome but also incredibly aggravating. You're first reaction can't be helped really. But before you unleash your hatred...

I HATE YOUR FACE!!!

... Take a step back. Take a deep breath. Ask the offender to kindly stop their sideline preaching. If they want to play, offer them a game after so they can demonstrate their acute gaming skill. They are, after all just trying to help, and if they are any kind of human being, will realize they are causing an issue and step back. We all make mistakes and get caught up in a great game and want to help. They are just acting on that urge. It happens.



I guess what I'm saying is this: Rules Lawyers are people too, so treat them as such and maybe they won't feel the need to lord their knowledge of the useless over you.


And hey, if they don't back off, feel free to indulge your baser desire to bring them into their own self-induced hell.... Cause really. F*** that guy.



**Consequences include, but are not restricted to: Violent Semantication dedicated to making you cry, Wild Gesticulation, Angry Grunting, and never-ending searing hatred and a new-found devotion to seeing your untimely demise. Oh, and sometimes I'll swear at you too.
Or pee on you. True story.